In the decade since I was first horrified by the introduction of belt clips, I’ve settled down.

In 2002 I had a cell phone but in no way wished to clip it upon my person. I could not, in fact, clip it on my person when said person was wearing a dress or other garment lacking a belt. The pocket alternative was often lacking, too; since female pockets exist at the whim of designers who don’t consider women NEED them.

This is because we, the females, carry purses and/or satchels. These accessorize us. However, since we are inclined toward creeping featurism, cell phones can prove irretrievable, lost among the mammoth archive of objects in one’s purse. Therefore, in 2012, I clip when I am able and keep the cell ring loud when I can’t.  I conform my form to function. I NEED my phone.

In 2002, I thought this clearly a female trouble. In 2012, I see gentlemen face a similar scenario.

No belt clip or pants pocket I’ve ever seen can handle an IPOD; nor do justice to a laptop of any sort. In 2012 men conform form to function by carrying their technology. It would be so much easier if they just carried a purse. Okay, call it a pocketbook. My grandma did.