Mrs. Fitz's Story Emporium

There are many reasons folks don’t write. lack of talent isn’t one of them. The notion that writing can’t be defined is. The notion that it’s magic or elusive is bunk.

Writing is incredibly define-able. Take any story, any story at all in fiction, news, history. That story has a plot and there are only 13 plots in all literature, for all time. Every story ever told is about:

1. ambition
2. betrayal
3. catastrophe
4. death
5. hate
6. love
7. persecution
8. quest
9. rebellion
10. rivalry
11. survival
12. self-sacrifice
13. vengeance

Some stories blend more than one plot within the same story. A good example of one is Gone With The Wind. But NO story, EVER, became a story without one of these. It isn’t magic. It’s story. So, tell one.
YOU are the magical part.

The good news about the bad news is that more good news than bad happens.

Tisn’t news that news delivers the bad stuff in barrages. That’s it’s job. Been that way since drum beaters alerted tribal brothers that warpainted bad guys were approaching over yonder hill. Been that way since town criers bleated around town some new tax levied by King so-and-so. Been that way since telegrams, since radio, since the Internet.

On days when the barrage gets me to thinking the world is going to hell in a handbasket, I remember news was invented to alert us to danger, not to entertain, not to enlighten, not to inspire and not to heal.

We still need each other for those things.

When words are off on holiday someplace you are not, numbers can abide the time.

Here’s a few:

50
The average age of authors (1955-2004) when their novels hit #1 on New York Times bestseller list.

27
The number of publishers who rejected Dr. Seuss’s (Theodor Geisel) first book.

50
The number of pages to read before you abandon a book, any book. Then, don’t.

500
The number of words that fill one single-spaced page when you print it out.

300,400 or 500
The number of words that fill a page in a published book.

100,000
The number of words in many books.

1,000
The number of words to read for each word you write.

2,3 or 4
The number of years it takes most folks to write a book.

1
The number of novels written each by Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird), Margaret Mitchell (Gone With the Wind) and Boris Pasternak (Dr. Zhivago).

I was named Michele instead of Lisa (a name Mom liked immensely) because Mom judged “Lisa Larson” put folks in a sing-songy frame of mind. “Lisa Larson,” “Lisa Larson,” does have a tweety-bird ring to it, I agree; yet I wouldn’t have minded.

Michele I was, and am; but my nickname is “Chele.” Not “Shell.” Not “Shelly.” Just “Chele.” This also came from Mom, who displayed the kind of care a Mom of one girl does when a orchestrating her girl’s future without boundaries; a future not burdened with, say, a lifetime known as “Bambi” or “Gertrude.”

Mom outlawed without mercy the idea of nicknaming me “Mickey.” I don’t know why but I defer to her judgment. “Chele” has the advantage of meaning not much at all; but those who call me “Chele” do.

I read the Greeks knew the notion of nicknames, something called “Hupokorisma” meaning “calling by an endearing name.” I read this on Wiki so I assume it’s accurate. It’s also very nice. Nicknames are ways we have to like each other.

My favorite is the Walter Matthau character Max in “Grumpier Old Men” who calls the Sophia Loren character Maria “Nag;” And Maria calls Max “Ox.” You can just tell they are crazy in love with each other.

It behooves us to honor elocution (a manner of speaking in public) as learning opportunities, what eloquent teachers might call teachable moments.

Lately there have been several turns of phrase by speakers of English I never heard before. This may be a rampant trend in other languages; but English is the only one I understand.

An American military spokesperson responding to inquiry of a timetable for withdrawal of United States troops from Afghanistan said the first batch of soldiers would depart later this year “AFTER THE FIGHTING SEASON.”
Who knew that war was sport, that there’s even a season for it?

Braving really really cold weather, Russian citizens gathering in Moscow’s downtown to plead for free elections were queried to explain their cause. A teacher said it was hard to teach her students to be honest in a country “SATURATED WITH DECEIT.”
Who knew we had so much in common with Russians?

China’s next president Xi Jinping is paying a visit to America, including Iowa; and there’s much ado about relations between America and China. So naturally a Chinese official spoke right up and said between our two countries, there is a “TRUST DEFICIT.”
Who knew trust was quantifiable, like Lincoln pennies? Who knew Iowa was a place to visit?

Chicago’s mayor Rahm Emanuel speaks very well in public, for somebody born in Chicago; and is making a lot of decisions lately that impact a lot of people. Not everybody wants to be impacted so some decisions irk some folks. Asked why he was making a decision recently, about what I don’t recall, he said he now has “POWER CAPITAL” and is using it.
Who knew power was a commodity you acquire and spend? Well, okay. I guess that’s nothing new.