During the 1960s, Mom relied on the tombstone to create her unique brand.

With what I considered alarming frequency in our Elmhurst household, she would declare repeatedly she wished her tombstone to read, “She cared. She tried.”

I tried to determine her intent. She was stating the obvious so why did it have to be carved in stone? She had a lot of life left, so why commit to this indelible statement so, well, early?

I understood she might want to be remembered. I just didn’t understand her choice of words. In particular, I wondered why she didn’t take it to a logical conclusion, as in “She cared. She tried. She succeeded.”

With what I consider alarming frequency, I still often ponder her request.