On this airplane, I want to sit as close to the pilot as possible. Having done a little airborne transport, I know for a fact that the butt of the plane is where bumping and thumping ravel nerves and provoke aggressive talk and no one acts regretful for same.

However, the front of the plane has a downside. It is utterly quiet, as if our privileges will be taken away if we act up.

I practice shrinking, taking in my appendages to fit this seat with room to spare. I also unravel in a confined way, never elbowing anybody and standing only high enough to peck my way out of the aisle to the bathroom, and only if absolutely necessary.

I think the best way to be in front of everyone else is to minimize. Yet, I do admire the loo-loo loudmouths toward the rear. I just don’t want to sit there.