One way writers exercise is by making up analogies and metaphors, which can be done in a sitting position. This offers advantage on hot days like this day in Chicago; so here’s a few really bad metaphors that are cooling:

1. Navigating life is like being the lure on the end of a fly-fishing rod. If the fisherman is deft, the experience has rhythm and grace and lands you in the perfect spot. Sometimes the fisherman is not deft.

2. Hearing your name called unexpectedly to speak, in public, to a big crowd, a smart crowd, is a lot like being a random ice cube tossed in a glass of God knows what.

3. If you wear a lace dress in hot weather, you will know what a wedding cake feels like when it’s left to melt in the sun.

4. Avid sports fans are like melon balls. They came from different places but look and smell exactly alike.

5. The best way to be cool when you are not is to emulate a carrot. Have you ever seen a carrot that looks hot?